3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
