dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
