He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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