new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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