super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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