I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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