So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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