you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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