Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize