Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

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(941): View more from Florida

still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break

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(646): View more from New York

when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.

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(330): View more from Ohio

It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?

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(845): View more from New York

Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.

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(541): View more from Oregon

So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it

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(850): View more from Florida

you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.

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