is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
