He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
