im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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