actually, I'm a sock model
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
