i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
