Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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