Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
two words...techno handjob
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
