i jhust puked up my retainher.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it glows. i had to have it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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