where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Acid is not a monday night drug
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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