then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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