I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
