He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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