he puts the penis in happiness.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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