He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
