I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
