We won't sleep together?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
