im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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