Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
