I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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