she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
