Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
