dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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