We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
