making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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