The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
