oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
