Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
