She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
