i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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