her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
