We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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