Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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