yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize