My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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