If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
