Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
