I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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