also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
