is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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