I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
