I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
