I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
