Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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