The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
