he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
