in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
