if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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