So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
