I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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