It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
