Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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