So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
