Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
