i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
