the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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