Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
