i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
